First of all, I would like to congratulate all of you who have stuck with this program this far. In all my years as a practicing therapist helping couples mend their relationships, I have to say that above and beyond any other requirements, perseverance is the most important quality. Without it, techniques and methods are meaningless because they will never be properly utilized.
I hope that as you’ve followed me you’ve gotten the message that I don’t claim to have some great secret to getting your ex back. What I ultimately teach you is that you have the secret, that you in fact ARE the secret, and all I can do is keep pointing you back to yourself where the ultimate answer lies.
Sure, I can also give you tools, materials, and a blueprint for creating a successful relationship based on years of successful couples counseling experience. No doubt this is good information to have and, if I say so myself, the best advice you could possibly get. But I still have no control over the outcome of the project: how you put all the pieces together will always be up to you. At no point is this a more important consideration than at the final stage of attempting to make your ex an ex-ex.
All that considered, I will now walk you step by step through the process and what we will learn and do (or not do, as the case may be) at each stage:
- Make the first contact a phone call using non-threatening language. We review a comprehensive list of suggested ice-breakers for every occasion to find one that suits you.
- What to do if your calls aren’t taken or you get voicemail.
- Ask for the first meeting in a neutral place, how to ask, when and where to have it.
- Why you shouldn’t talk about your relationship issues just yet, and what you should talk about. What to say and do if your ex tries to dredge up old dirt. Avoid that subject at all costs, but keep things upbeat.
- Be careful not to reignite old patterns of poor communication that fueled the breakup to begin with. In particular you need to watch out for what I call Fight Traps, which are actions or statements that can instigate conflict. I briefly cover the most common Traps.
- Focus instead on my Digging Up Love methods, using a variety of verbal cues, body language, positive topics of conversation, and more. But don’t overdo it, either. We’ll cover a host of methods that should warm things up without being too obvious and manipulative.
- Handling cold feet on the part of your ex. He or she will probably be afraid and nervous. Don’t let that kill your mood.
- Keep the meeting fairly brief, and finish it on a positive note. We’ll study how you close and say goodbye.
- Ask for another date, but don’t fall apart if you’re rebuffed. We’ll look at ways to work around the objection, and how to leave it open and follow up with it later.
- Once the reconciliation begins, never forget that a relationship always requires work and compromise.
This completes the outline of the entire program. Of course, I could not possibly cover every nuance in such a series of short articles. But it should provide you with enough of an outline to work with and provide many free tips to help you understand what it takes to win your ex back or save your marriage.
To insure that your love that lasts a lifetime, it’s vital to steer clear of the Fight Traps and faulty communication patterns that destroy most relationships. This is why I highly recommend that you read my first book, Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First): A Step by Step Guide For Resolving Relationship Conflict and learn how to properly handle differences to fuel the love fires rather than extinguish the flame.
Good luck, and I wish you all the love in the world!
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